or skillz, if you prefer.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t be like “hey here’s a video of me, you should check it out” but that’s totally what I’m about to do. Because it’s not for me, it’s for the very talented producer of the video, my future brother-in-law, Cody.
Awhile back he mentioned to Damin and I that he had been looking at engagement videos and thought maybe he’d like to try making one. Ordinarily he does photography and videography of wildlife and sports, so this was a departure from his usual line of work. The idea of being in front of a video camera normally makes me feel really weird, but Cody said we could do the video in Charlottesville. Given that Charlottesville is pretty much my favorite place in the entire world, I forgot my apprehension.
The result was the video above, which is pretty awesome and even more so given that it’s his first try.
This post is a little more serious than I usually am, because that’s where I am today.
This morning I went to the doctor to hear results from MRIs. The news was good; there’s nothing there that shouldn’t be. I’ve always heard that expression people use, about feeling like the weight of bricks had just been lifted off of them. I thought that I knew what it meant, but I didn’t, not really, until this morning. I knew I had been internalizing that stress, but I didn’t know exactly the extent of it, until I felt it melt away.
The waiting could’ve been much worse. It was only spread over the last couple of months, and I’m lucky because I have an incredible network of support around me. Regardless, it was a like a dark cloud that lingered. In New York, at the beach, at my cousin’s wedding. Every great day was tainted with the “what if” that sat in the back of my mind.
I wanted to be one of those people who handles it so well, determined not to let worry overshadow all the amazing things about my life. Sometimes I was able to be that person, but it was usually only in small increments, and then I would resume fighting the mental battle inside my head.
I wanted to talk about it, and then I didn’t. I didn’t want to scare anyone by admitting to them how scared I really was. I fluctuated between believing people when they assured me it would be fine, and wanting to challenge them. How did they know? How could they be sure? Weren’t they just saying that to make me feel better?
I am a person of faith so that was another part of the equation for me. Can you pray that nothing bad shows up on your MRI? (I did). Would it change anything if I didn’t? I prayed more as a source of comfort than anything, forced to acknowledge that everywhere, all over the world today there are people who prayed the same and won’t receive the good news that I did. I have always thought that you shouldn’t have beliefs unless they stand up to weathering. These past couple of months have been that for me.
I also thought long and hard about healthcare. I’m fortunate enough to be on my mom’s health insurance. But what would someone do in the same position if they didn’t have that kind of privilege? Would they have the same access to world-class healthcare that I did? I doubt it. What if I wasn’t on her insurance, and I didn’t have a job? This is just another scenario that merited the “there’s no use worrying over what-ifs” speech I’ve given myself a thousand times since the spring.
I still don’t have answers to all the questions these couple of months have raised for me. But today, I really don’t care. I’m so grateful, and excited, and relieved.
Today is a day for celebrating, which means my favorite pizza for lunch. And probably ice cream later.
It’s a good day.
picture source: via French by Design here
(Only a few days late)…Friday, New York became the largest state to allow same-sex marriage, yay! Like a nerd, I watched part of the Senate session online. It was pretty cool watching various Senators standing up to explain why they were supporting the bill. Also cool was watching the words “applause and cheers” come up on the screen after the bill passed (I may or may not have muted it because we were also watching UVA in the college world series). Also, you know you’re doing something right when they change the colors of the Empire State Building to celebrate it.
picture from the Atlantic
Some preliminary thoughts on the royal wedding:
Kate’s dressed rocked and she looked awesome. I know everyone has already said that, but it’s true and must be said. I thought it was a little weird that her sister was also wearing white but she was pretty too.
The hats! Oh dear, the hats. I was enamored with them. Most of them. Some of them were on the more, interesting side? Like Fergie’s daughters and Posh Spice (though David Beckham was carrying an awesome hat himself).
The trees in Westminster Abbey were cool, and a little confusing to me. Are they always there? Were they brought in just for the wedding? Could anyone in the back actually see the wedding through the hats and trees?
I loved the Queen in her yellow suit. It reminded me of Harry Potter, where Luna’s dad says you should always wear sun colors to a wedding for luck. Harry Potter is British so I think combining both him and the Queen in a sentence is acceptable.
The hat that the minister was wearing reminded me of the awesome wedding scene from The Princess Bride (oh, irony). I’m sure there is a more proper name for both the minister and the hat he was wearing, but I’m not well-versed in Anglican vocab.
I was going to write something about twitter and lady gaga and this awesome conference I went to yesterday but this has all been interrupted because one of my best friends is having a baby! right now!!!! ahhhhhhhhh. This fact is causing me to have a shorter-than-usual attention span and making me sad because I wish I could be there (also I have a bizarre need to know whether labor is anything like what you see on tv). Anyway 20 years from now I don’t want to explain to her child that on the day he was born I was writing about lady gaga (mainly because I’m worried he might say “who?” and then I would cry).
spring break! Not to sound redundant (or like I’m 18 years old) but I’m really looking forward to a break. Not because I have any exciting travel plans, or that I’ll be a year away from going to Paris! (maybe you’ve heard) but I’m really looking forward to catching up with old friends. This spring break will mean seeing a friend I haven’t seen in over a year, another that I haven’t seen in months but it feels like a year (hi TA!), former neighbors (the best), and a friend who is pregnant and due in May (the first of our group to have a baby, which means I should probably get to work on that blanket).
I’ve noticed it’s a symptom of your 20s to wake up one day and realize your friends are no longer 10 minutes away but have been flung instead to the far corners of the country (or in my case, California, Florida, and South Carolina which really isn’t that far away but seems it). I’m really looking forward to catching up with a few of them, and possibly getting started on that baby blanket (step 1: learning how to use my sewing machine).
As a side note, I’m packing away most of my sweaters today. Seriously North Carolina, I think I love you.
post-publication amendment: I neglected to mention that I am also very excited that I will get to see my sister and my furry grey niece over spring break (just to clarify, she’s a cat, not a child with a skin condition).
Despite the title of this post I am not officially declaring myself as a grown up just yet. I’m pretty sure in order to qualify you can’t have made any calls to your mom in the last year requesting directions for how to boil eggs. I have instead, made progress on the path to growing up by purchasing my first ever (used) DSLR! (After typing this I realized I had no idea what that stood for. Wikipedia tells me it’s “digital single-lens reflex” camera). I don’t mean that buying a camera makes you a grown up, but all the people I know who are serious about their picture taking own DSLRs. And they’re grown ups. It can’t be a coincidence.
To celebrate this exciting event I’m sharing with you one of the first ever pictures taken with the new camera (the very first was of my cat, but her eyes are glowing green and it’s a little disturbing). The presence of the shadow tells you I obviously have no idea how to turn off the flash, but it’s a work in progress.